Observations
by serenelystrange
Summary: Eliot makes some observations that lead him to believe Parker & Hardison got a little thing going on. And since they're my players... he's right. But he's determined to know for sure. :D Please read and review!


A/N – I just cant get over the notion that domestic Parker & Hardison are awesome. So, I continue to write and love them. I hope you like it too! Please review!

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It wasn't the kissing in the office that found them out. It wasn't even the covert sex in the office closet that found them out. Parker and Hardison were nothing if not cautious and were both secretive by nature and profession. In the end, it was Eliot and his quiet skill of observation that found them out.

A team dinner wasn't uncommon after completing a successful job. So when the team found themselves at popular steakhouse chain one night, nobody thought a thing of Parker and Hardison sitting next to each other. And they had all spent so much time in close proximity to each other, growing to know one another pretty well, that nobody thought a thing when Hardison reached into his pocket and handed Parker a rubber band to tie her hair back away from her soup and the table's festive candles.

Dinner went on normally; Hardison making bad jokes that everybody laughed at anyway. Parker nodded along, listening to everything but nothing in particular. Sophie and Nate split their time between eating, talking to their teammates, and sending each other covert glances when the other wasn't looking. Eliot said little, as usual, but he observed.

Eliot observed silently as Parker rotated her shoulder with obvious discomfort, scrunching her face up in pain quickly before forcing her face to smooth out. She clearly didn't want the team to notice. So, Eliot said nothing. It was her business. But then he observed Hardison, who turned to Parker and asked her, "shoulder again?" in an almost silent whisper, to which she nodded minutely. Hardison immediately brought his hands up to Parker's shoulder to massage it in a practiced motion. Parker's eyes closed at the relief, soft smile on her face.

The whole interaction lasted less than a minute, but Eliot had seen plenty. It was obvious that Hardison alone knew Parker had hurt her shoulder, and that he had been around enough to know exactly how to make it feel better. That, and the fact that the little blonde thief, who had been so skittish to contact, had willingly and gratefully, accepted his touch, convinced Eliot he was on to something. He decided to find out for sure, but not during dinner.

Nate and Sophie didn't seem to notice that Parker and Hardison left the restaurant together, but Eliot supposed they were too wrapped up in their soap opera drama to notice much of anything else outside of a job. But Eliot noticed. Long after the rest of the team had departed, Eliot lingered by the restaurant in his car, waiting.

He pulled up to Hardison's apartment, after finding Parker's place empty and dark. Peering up at the windows, Eliot could faintly make out two shadowy figures in the window of Hardison's living room. Laughing to himself, Eliot headed up to Hardison's door.

Three heavy knocks on Hardison's door startled him into dropping the bottle of soda from his hands. He took a second to appreciate Parker's lighting quick reflexes as she grabbed the bottle before it could hit the ground, but then curiosity took over and he went to the door. Looking out the peephole, he was surprised to see Eliot, grinning up at the lens.

"It's Eliot." He told Parker, who shrugged, as if saying, 'so what?'

"He's smiling," he continued, which caused Parker to frown slightly. That was odd of Eliot.

She shrugged again, "Let him in. He can watch the movie with us if he wants."

Hardison pouted, "But then I'll miss my favorite part of the movie!"

"You haven't seen the movie yet, Hardison. How could you have a favorite part?" Parker rolled her eyes at the hacker.

Hardison grinned goofily, "My favorite is always the part where you get bored and start kissing me instead."

Parker rolled her eyes again but smiled back at him anyway.

Suddenly Eliot's voice drifted through the door;

"I can hear y'all, you do realize that? Want to let me in?" He sound mildly annoyed but nothing more than usual.

Hardison pulled the door open, moving to let Eliot in. He strode in, hands in pockets, half-scowl on his face. It was the half that worried Hardison, he was used to a full scowl. This time Eliot seemed to be fighting a smile, which was unusual. Parker moved to stand beside Hardison, and they both regarded Eliot with identical expressions of "so?" This nearly broke Eliot, who couldn't help the chuckles that escaped.

"How long?" he asked the staring pair. Hardison hedged, muttering about how long being too vague a question and needing a noun or verb or something, which only made Eliot grin at his obvious discomfort. Parker, however, just rolled eyes and answered.

"Two months. Since right after we all came back together." She paused to glance at Hardison, who looked torn between annoyance and relief. "See? I told you it was no big deal. Eliot's not mad."

Hardison asked, "Why would Eliot be mad?" just as Eliot questioned, "Why would I be mad?"

Parker addressed them both, "First of all, Eliot, there's always a fifty-fifty chance you'll be mad at any given moment. And Hardison, you told me you were worried the team would be mad if they found out about us."

Eliot snorted at her insulting but correct assessment of his temper. Hardison however, looked annoyed.

"Girl, I didn't mean Eliot! I meant Nate. In fact, I said, 'Nate's gonna be pissed if he finds out. He's so dramatic.' Eliot didn't even come up."

"Hey! I can have an opinion on this!" Eliot protested, though it held no real anger. Parker and Hardison ignored his protests as they sorted out their misunderstanding.

"You mean we could've told Eliot two months ago?" Parker asked, sounding annoyed.

Hardison laughed at the absurdity, "Guess so. Oh well, what's done is done." He turned to Eliot, "Wanna watch a movie with us? We got popcorn and stuff."

Eliot shook his head, "Nah. Another time, maybe. I just wanted to prove my hunch. I'm going home to sleep. Ya know, like normal people do around midnight."

Parker moved to stand in front of Hardison, who instinctively wrapped his arms around her waist, resting his chin atop her head lightly. She bumped his chin with her head playfully, giggling when he just pressed a quick kiss to her crown before resting his chin back down. Parker smiled crookedly at Eliot.

"You've said it yourself. We aren't normal people."

Eliot just sighed, "There's still something wrong with you, both of you." But his eyes showed amusement still.

Hardison glared at Eliot before squeezing Parker closer to himself, "Yeah. But this one's my kind of crazy."

Eliot regarded Parker, "And he's your kind of crazy I suppose?" Parker didn't miss the serious undertone to his light question, but she just smiled and nodded, absently tracing patterns on Hardison's hands that rested just below her belly button.

Eliot shrugged, "Alright. See y'all tomorrow."

He paused before reaching the door, then stared at Hardison intently, "Don't you hurt her, because I'd hate to have to hurt you. Well, I would strongly dislike it. I wouldn't like it, anyway."

Parker scoffed, "I can take care of myself, Eliot. Hardison wouldn't hurt me."

"I didn't mean physically."

Hardison stuck his tongue out at Eliot, aware it was childish but finding no better alternative. Parker just rolled her eyes again, wondering if her eyes really might get stuck that way.

"I know what you mean, strong man, and I told you, I can take care of myself."

"Yeah, man," Hardison agreed, "she can take care of herself. And why would I ever hurt her? Who the hell else will put up with me?" He bent to place a kiss on Parker's neck, who responded by clutching his hands tighter under hers. She glared at Eliot, a little breathlessly.

"You should leave now." She paused, glint in her eyes, "Unless you wanna watch?"

Eliot's eyes went wide as Hardison began choking on air, making incoherent sounds that all clearly signified 'no way in hell'. Parker just laughed.

"No? Alright, see you tomorrow then."

Eliot backed away slowly, and then practically ran out the door. It would take hours of TV to wash out the images those two had just placed in his mind. And even longer to dispel the morbid curiosity to accept Parker's half-serious offer, Hardison be damned. Groaning to himself, he realized it was going to be a long and sleepless night. Served him right for snooping, he supposed, but he relished in the fact that he now knew something Nate and Sophie did not.

The movie was forgotten minutes later as Parker and Hardison found themselves tangled up in sheets and each other. Afterward, as they lay catching their breath, Hardison reached down to swat playfully at Parker's backside.

"You're an evil little thing, you know. Inviting Eliot to watch. He nearly had a heart attack! Which, ok, might have been funny if he didn't, you know, die, but we really shouldn't risk that. Who else will protect us from bad guys. Or badder guys. Whatever."

Parker, used to Hardison's rambling, just nodded along. "Mhm, ok. No more inviting Eliot to watch us." Just as she knew Hardison was falling into sleep, she whispered, "Maybe Sophie?"

Hardison's eyes shot open; sure he hadn't heard what he just thought he heard. He looked down at Parker, who appeared fast asleep. But she couldn't control the slight shaking of her body as she fought the laughter. Shaking his head, Hardison cuddled her closer, muttering about wicked women and unfair teasing. Parker just pressed a kiss into his open palm before falling asleep in the groove they created together.

THE END

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A/N – So yeah. Even our big bad heroes have quiet nights at home. I choose to believe P & H spend theirs watching movies and having sex. And being generally adorable. Hope you liked! Please review.


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